


The Boxes

by MadamPuddifoot9



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: 22 years after Alec’s death, Broken Magnus, Character Death, F/M, Future Fic, Grief, M/M, Malec, Malec fic, Post 3x10, Sadness, Shadowhunters - Freeform, Sort Of, alec lightwood - Freeform, ghost alec, high warlock of brooklyn, magnus bane - Freeform, sh fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-25
Updated: 2018-06-06
Packaged: 2019-05-13 16:20:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14752227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MadamPuddifoot9/pseuds/MadamPuddifoot9
Summary: What if Alec died in 3x10?This is a future based Fic where Magnus is dating but every time something goes wrong he’s met with visions of Alec.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry this idea is in my head. It’s a little out there. Alec is sort of a ghost... but not exactly. He’s a representation of Magnus’ grief.

Celinè Devarieux was a Warlock and the girlfriend of Magnus Bane, The High Warlock of Brooklyn.   
They’d met through Madzie who was a mutual friend and had soon fell into a friendship that has bloomed into something else. 

Celiné had grown to be comfortable in Magnus’ loft and she let herself in and called out for her boyfriend. There was only silence but the lamps were lit and she could smell freshly brewed coffee. He must have portalled out for something but she would wait. She sent off a text message to Magnus letting him know where she was and not to hurry.   
She kicked off her shoes and padded into the kitchen and with a wave of her hand the coffee heated fully again and she made herself a cup.   
She and Magnus had been dating for three months now and friends longer than that so she felt comfortable having a small look around his loft.   
Magnus always has exquisite taste in art. Sometimes she would touch the rough paint on the canvas as she admired them.   
Then there was that vase. Celiné didn’t know she had a liking of vases until she saw this one. Magnus told her this one was from Attica and she always admired it.   
Now that Celiné was this far across the loft she realised she hadn’t seen this particular room that was always closed. She hesitated and then gently slid the door open.  
It was a spare bedroom. Bigger than the one they slept it. She wondered why Magnus didn’t sleep in here, there was vast closet space, a large bed. Peculiar that he favoured the smaller bedroom for his own.

Feeling curious she opened the closet and smiled. She’s found some very un-Magnus like clothes. Black, black, dark grey, a navy shirt with a white diamond pattern, various hoodies, a leather jacket, a few pairs of combat boots nearly stacked on a shelf. This must be his secret stash of clothes he wore to lounge around in. She couldn’t picture it personally, Magnus was always so glamours. With a smile she closed the closed door and opened the next one.   
This was more like it. Magnus’ clothes,explosions of colours and fine fabrics.   
The third closet door was shelving. Boxes and boxes filled the shelves. She imagined ancient scripts and texts from warlocks long gone.   
Celiné checked her phone, no messages from Magnus. She hesitated, setting her coffee on a bedside table and then she pulled one box from the shelf. 

She hopped onto the bed and set the box beside her. She opened the ornate lid and smiled. Photos.   
Polaroids.   
She grabbed a few and saw Magnus and a dark haired man. A Shadowhunter. They seemed to be in Egypt judging by the background. The next photo was just the Shadowhunter, he wasn’t looking at the camera. The next one was him again. And the next one. The next one was the Shadowhunter sitting on a couch with Madzie as a child. She wondered why Madzie never mentioned this man before.  
Celiné tossed the photos back into the box on top of the hundreds more and closed the lid. She felt uneasy but curiosity had now taken over. She grabbed another two boxes. One was filled with countless photos of the Shadowhunter. Each one seemed to be a shot of every part of his body. The very dept of his eye and eyebrow with a scar running through it. A freckle on his neck. His long fingers. The curve of his back. Each rune he had. His lips. Navel... Celiné felt a pang of jealously. Whoever he was Magnus was clearly besotted, she knew these photos where memories rather than actual photographs. She’d seen Magnus produce them before when he argued with Caterina about something they once did and he was able to produce a memory as a photo to prove his point.  
She set them back into the box and opened the next one. Thankfully this one wasn’t photos, just a black shirt and one long sharp arrow.  
Oh. She dropped the shirt back in quickly. It was hardened with dried blood. She slammed the lid shut and put the boxes away. 

Celiné returned to sit on the edge of the bed. She wanted to leave. She wanted to go and talk to  
Madzie and she wanted to confront Magnus too. This wasn’t normal.   
She looked around the room again and spotted Magnus’ silken robe tossed over a chair. She saw the pile of books on the other bedside table. It almost felt like he slept in here. Throwing all caution to the wind and her common sense she picked up one of the pillows and inhaled. It smelled like his shampoo. He did sleep in here. She was about to put the pillow back when she saw a small red embroidered omamari poking out from under the other pillow. She reached for it.

“Don’t touch that.” 

Celiné jumped and knocked into the bedside table, her cup of forgotten about coffee spilled and dripped.

“Magnus!” She shrieked “you scared me to death.”  
She hastily dropped the pillow back down and cleaned the mess with her magic.

“Having fun?” Magnus asked. He didn’t look angry but he looked almost... upset. She didn’t understand.

“I’m sorry. I was curious I didn’t mean to... what is all this? Do you have-“

“What did you see?” Magnus asked quickly

“Not a lot.” She lied for some reason. There was a pain so visible in his eyes that she didn’t want to know anymore. 

“You looked in my boxes.” Magnus said then. He knew. 

“I-“

“You looked at my memories.” Magnus cut across. “I need you to leave.”

“Magnus.” Celiné said quickly and she walked closer to him with her arms out. “I’m so sorry, I don’t know what came over me, I’m so sorry.”

“Being curious isn’t something to apologise for. But please, can you leave? I’d like to be alone.”

She dropped her hands and nodded. “I’ll call you tomorrow.” She said as she walked from the room. 

Magnus nodded and sat down on the edge of the bed.


	2. Chapter 2

Magnus opened the door to the closet that contained Alec’s clothes. He unhooked a tee shirt from the hanger and brought it to his nose. He inhaled heavily and shakily let the breath out. As soon as he’d gotten his powers back after Alec’s death he’d spelled Alec’s belongings to hold his scent forever.

He stood hugging the black tee shirt for a while as he swayed. Tonight had been too much with Celiné, he hadn’t been ready to tell her about Alec yet. He wasn’t sure how he felt about her if he was honest with himself, and he wouldn’t just trust anyone with stories of his Shadowhunter.

It was only when Magnus caught a glimpse of himself clinging to Alec’s shirt in the mirror that he found the strength to put it back and close the door. He hadn’t been this bad in a long time. He needed to be strong. Instead he conjured himself a large brandy and then climbed into bed.

Magnus awoke later in the night. He wasn’t sure what had woken him at first but it didn’t take him long to realise. He first became aware that he was much too comfortable, he felt like someone strong was holding him in their arms, then he smelled that familiar scent again, before he felt the whisper of a kiss on his bare shoulder.

In a split second Magnus spun around in his bed. He snapped his fingers and the lamps came on.

Alec was smiling as him gently like he was the most beautiful sight for sore eyes, his eyes looked soft and full of adoration. He was wearing what he wore the night he passed except there was no hole in his chest, no blood, no broken bones. Just his beautiful Alec, eternally young and as perfect as he was in life.

“Don’t cry.” Alec said softly 

Magnus closed his eyes at the sound. There was no other voice he’d rather hear in the heavens or earth. He didn’t even realise he was crying until then. He wiped at his cheek.

“Why haven’t you been around, Alexander? You just disappear and it’s been so long. Years! I don’t want you to leave but you just go and I miss you so much. It breaks my heart.” 

“I’m always around.” Alec said gently and his own eyes shone. “Always.” He repeated “just out of sight.”

“I don’t feel you anymore.” Magnus choked out “and it hurts so bad.”

“I know.” Alec said softly “but know that I am around, I can promise you that. I’m only here when you really really need me.”

“I always need you, Alexander.” Magnus said shakily “that’s never going to change.”

Alec smiled at him for a moment. “But you don’t, Magnus. You are so strong and resilient, you don’t need to stay in the past with me, you need to stay in the present.”

“I’m not strong.” Magnus said “otherwise I wouldn’t see my dead boyfriend’s ghost.”

Alec grinned “I’m not a ghost.”

“What else can I call it?” Magnus sniffed and he wiped his eyes again “mental health?”

“No.” Alec scoffed “you’re just grieving. I’m grief. Think of me as... a living memory, maybe.”

Magnus couldn’t help but stare at him. 

“I miss you.” Magnus said and he fought against the lump in his throat. “It’s not fair.”

Alec nodded.

“We were supposed to have more time! We didn’t get enough time, Alec.”

“I know.” Alec said gently and with regret. “But you still do, you have forever and I don’t want you to be alone.”

“But we were so... you were so...” Magnus shook his head.

“You were it for me.” Alec said simply “and you always will be; but Magnus you have to move on.”

“I tried.”

“You did. So let’s talk about Ms Devarieux. You sent her away?”

Magnus looked towards the closet. “She found your boxes.”

Alec shook his head “so?”

“So- she had no right, that’s private. It’s you and me. She had no right to look at your things.”

“Imagine a nosey person looking into a box of memories. Seems familiar.” Alec teased.

“That was different.” Magnus countered 

“How so?” Alec asked skeptically

“Because it was you.” Magnus shrugged “I cant explain it, but you are...you were-different.”

“You should forgive her.” Alec said “we all get curious.”

“I know.” Magnus said “But, Alec, when it comes to you, to us, I don’t want anyone else to be part of it. It’s our story. Our love.”

“But that’s over now.” Alec reminded him.

“It’s not. It never will be. Not for me.” Magnus said loudly 

“Not for me.” Alec countered “you were everything I dreamed of Magnus and you love me, god I know it. I feel it, but until you can truly let me go I don’t think you can be completely happy.”

“It’s not that simple. I can’t just forget you.” Magnus said with anger.

“You have hundreds of photos of me. Of every tiny insignificant part of my body. Do you really think it matters to me if you forget those freckles on my calf that you thought looked like Micky mouse?” 

“That matters to me!” Magnus said loudly “that’s why I have all the photos. I can’t bare to forget your face or anything else. Sometimes I forget what your voice sounds like and I wake up in a panic and it hurts so much I can barely breathe. I have that voicemail you left me the night you died and I listen to it over and over just so I can remember your voice and the panic retreats. There’s no way I can get rid of your boxes or your stuff.”

Alec looked sadly at him.   
“What about this room? You don’t bring her in here.”

“This is our bed. The bed you gave yourself to me on. The bed you shared with me the last time you went to sleep in my arms. I don’t want to bring anyone else here. We sleep in the spare room. We share that together but no, this room is ours.” 

“Why do you sleep here when you’re alone?”

“Because I want to feel close to you.” Magnus admitted.

“Oh Magnus.” Alec sighed “what am I going to do with you?”

Magnus shook his head and shrugged a little. As far as he was concerned there was no problem here.

“I don’t want to lose us.” He said after a moment.

Alec laughed sadly and looked him right in the eye “you won’t erase who we were and what we had. No one can. You were perfect for me, Magnus. And you always will be.”

More tears fell from Magnus’ eyes. He knew Alec was right but it wasn’t that easy.

“Can we talk about something else?” Magnus sniffed “Please?”

Alec looked sad.

“What do you want to talk about, Magnus?”

“I want to know when you’re going to leave me again?”

“I’m not really here.” Alec said carefully “you know that.”

“But this won’t be the last time? It’s been so long since the last time you came. I thought you’d left me forever.”

“I think it’s up to you.” Alec replied “when did you last see me?” 

“When I lost my omamari.” Magnus replied “it fell from my pocket after an intense battle with a greater demon.” 

“But you found it.” Alec prompted.

“Jace spent the entire next day with me amongst the chaos until we found it.” Magnus remembered.

“If you hadn’t found it things still would have been okay you know. It’s just a talisman.” 

“No.” Magnus said “it’s more than that but you know also ‘for luck and protection’, remember?”

“I remember.” Alec smiled.

“I miss you.” Magnus said again “so much.”

“I miss you too.”

“Will you stay the night with me?” He asked with fear 

“I will.” Alec said “now turn out the lights. Get some rest.”

“I’m afraid that I’ll never see you again if I fall asleep.” Magnus whispered as the lights went out

“Shh. Get some sleep.” Alec soothed.

“I can feel you holding me.” Magnus said

“That’s because I am.” Alec said into the darkness “I love you Magnus Bane. Loving you made me a man instead of a scared boy and I’m eternally grateful for that, you were my life but please remember that I was but a small chapter in yours.”

“The best chapter.” Magnus whispered back. “The happiest.”

“I love that I made you happy and was the best chapter... so far.” Alec added.

“You never give up.” Magus said “if I didn’t have my eyes closer right now I’d be rolling them.”

Alec fell silent but Magnus could feel him there, he couldn’t remember the last time he felt so safe.   
He was sure he could feel Alec’s slow breath on his neck.

“Dream of me.” 

He wasn’t sure if Alec said that or not, he was really falling under now.

“Always.” He think he said.

 

Magnus woke up at first light and found he was alone, his omamari clutched in his hand.


	3. Chapter 3

It took Magnus a long time to leave bed that morning. He kept thinking if he just stayed there that Alec would come back.   
He didn’t.

When he finally accepted this Magnus got out of their bed and went to the wardrobe and brought out one of the boxes that contained some memories of Alec.  
He didn’t often look at them anymore, only when he couldn’t cope. He really thought he’d been doing well recently. Since he meet Celiné and their friendship had grown into something more Magnus had a little hope that he was finally moving on from Alec. It hurt him that something so small, Celiné finding Alec’s boxes, had completely sent him back to square one and what was worse- he knew he never wanted to let go of Alec, he didn’t want to move on. Had he been kidding himself all this time?

Back on the bed Magnus opened the lid on the box. It was one that had a few silly handwritten notes that Alec had left him around the loft. As much as he always denied it Alec had been very romantic.   
He picked up his favourite, it was a red napkin that Alec had written a tiny poem on.

Magnus smiled at the memory. It had been their very last date, they were in a restaurant and Magnus had been telling Alec about a certain famous poet who had a thing for him many years ago. Magnus had never reciprocated those feeling and endured daily letters for months that declared undying love in various forms of rhyme, blank verse and sestina.   
Alec had been amused as Magnus recounted how he’d eventually fled England to escape his daily declarations of love but that he also kept the poems as he couldn’t part with sentimental things, plus he loved poetry.  
Alec had joked that he was up to the challenge and Magnus had summoned a pen in jest and handed it to Alec with a raised eyebrow. With a grin Alec snatched up his unused napkin and quickly jotted down a few words and tossed the napkin across the table with a smirk thirty seconds later.

“Candies, Flowers and poems   
I’d given them all to you,  
but you’d prefer a glass of gin and I’d prefer that too.”

“Cheers!” Magnus had laughed when he read it and he and Alec clinked their martini glasses. 

“Why Alexander, you’re a poet and didn’t know it. Thank you, I love it. Put the others to shame really.” Magnus had teased.

“Oh I know.” Alec said veining overconfidence.

“I’m going to put this in a frame in the loft.” Magnus teased

“Don’t you dare!” Alec said trying to snatch the napkin back. 

“The world needs to see your beautiful words, Alexander” Magnus grinned 

“They really don’t.” Alec said “I’ll give you an exchange for it, how about that?”

“I’m listening.” Magnus said “But what could I possibly want more than my beautiful poem?”

“A kiss... for starts...” Alec said in a low tone and he leaned across the table and Magnus dropped the napkin and cupped Alec’s face as they kissed gently. 

“Mmm... Okay. I’ve surrendered my poem. You said a kiss for starts... what else do I get?” 

“I’ll go and pay and then we can go back and find out.” Alec teased as he stood up.

Magnus quickly downed the rest of his drink as Alec left. He felt giddy in anticipation. 

“Ready?” Alec asked a moment later when he returned. 

“Let’s go.” Magnus smiled and he accepted Alec’s outreached hand.   
Just as Alec turned away Magnus snatched up the napkin and pocketed it. 

 

Back in the present Magnus was lightly tracing the words with his finger tip. A knock came to the loft door and Magnus snapped his fingers. In a second he was dressed and made up. He placed the napkin delicately back in the box and then walked out of the room.

Celiné was at the door.

“I know I said I’d call but i figured I owed you an apology face to face.” 

Magnus sighed. “Come in.”

The young Warlock passed him and unbuttoned her coat. 

“Drink?” Magnus offered as he made his way to his drinks trolly.

“Magnus it’s barely mid day.” She said

“Oh but it’s five o clock somewhere my dear.” Magnus replied

“I’ll have a cup of tea.” She replied 

Magnus summonsed her some earl grey while he poured himself a large gin.

He sat opposite her on the couch.

“I had no business snooping into your private affairs.” Celiné said as Magnus sipped his drink.

“No.” Magnus agreed 

“But you have to admit what I found isn’t healthy.” She continued 

Magnus crossed his arms over his chest. 

“I called at madzie’s last night after I left. She told me a little about him. Your Shadowhunter boyfriend.”

Magnus smiled a little. He knew how fond Madzie remained of Alec after his death.

“Yes, he used to call her ‘his little sorceress’, she was young when he passed.” Magnus agreed

“Why haven’t you ever told me about him before?” Celiné asked with genuine curiosity in her voice “Why has no one mentioned him? Not Madzie, Not Caterina?”

“Out of respect.” Magnus guessed “For him. For me.”

“How did he die?” She asked

Magnus sighed. “At the hands of his Parabatai.” 

“His Parabatai?” Celiné sounded alarmed 

“It’s a complicated tale.” Magnus said “Jace Herondale was Alec’s Parabatai, his brother. Jace was possessed by a greater demon. Lilith. She manipulated Jace for weeks, she turned him into her slave, she called him her owl. Jace was trapped inside his own body and forced to watch as the owl killed Alexander with his own arrow.”

“The arrow from the box.” celiné said. “Magnus, why would you keep such a thing?”

“It was Alec’s and It took him from me. I couldn’t just toss it into the trash. I needed to keep it to-“

“-To torture yourself?” She butted in

“Yes. And no.” Magnus replied honestly, he thought of his mother’s dagger that lay in his study.

“You said Jace Herondale was his Parabatai.” Celiné asked “the same Jace Herondale who fought for the equal treatment of Down worlders?”

“The very one.” Magnus said “Jace finished what his brother had started. He made a new cabinet and honoured Alexander in the best way he knew.”

“And he also died.” Celiné added gently

Magnus nodded and wiped at his eye. “Yes. He never did forgive himself for what he did Alec, what the owl did. As soon as he’d finished Alec’s legacy he took his own life.”

“That’s tragic.” Celiné said sadly

“Yes.” Magnus agreed. “It wasn’t Jace’s fault, in fact it was I who inadvertently helped Lilith create the owl.”

“You must were together a long time?”

Magnus shook his head, the memory haunting him. “No. Not very long at all.”

“But then I find it odd why you can’t let go of him.” Celiné said

“You are still young Celiné, how old? Sixty?” She nodded “you haven’t had great loss yet. I’m afraid it will come for you too. Family, friends, lovers. The damnation of an immortal.”

“But why did you fall for a mortal?” She asked “you could have stuck with our people and avoided this grief.”

“I was merely existing when Alexander crashed into my life. He saved me from a demon and didn’t even give me a spare glance. He went and finished his job and spun his blade in his hand so casually. He was the most enticing thing I’d seen. I knew I had to know him from that moment.”

“But it didn’t last long?” celiné pressed “What was special about this mortal?”

 

“A matter of months. The best of my entire life. They were filled with terror and evil but I was living. After 800 odd years I wanted to wake up every morning again. To wake up to him. He was so kind and beautiful. So beautiful. And he accepted all of me the good and the bad, he never judged me for who I was. Alec could mend me with a single look. He made me accept part of myself that I hid away. My heritage. He could see into my soul and forgive all my wrong doing.” 

“It sounds like you worshiped him, Magnus. But not in the best way, especially if it’s left you like this two decades later.”

Magnus bit his tongue. She was inexperienced in loss but he didn’t want to lose her.

“You can’t understand as you didn’t know him.” Magnus said finally.

“And I never will.” Celiné said “and I’m not sure I want to spend my time competing with a dead man.”

“I’m not sure what you want me to say?” Magnus said coolly “that I’ll forget him. That’s not going to happen.”

“Do you even want to?” Celiné asked 

“Why would I want that?” Magnus asked seriously “why would I want to forget love, infatuation... yes I’ll give you that.... he was everything to me. He was everything I had searched for rolled into one. I was completely his in every way, being infatuated with someone as good as Alexander Lightwood isn’t something I’d ever regret.” 

“Do you not see this through my eyes, Magnus?” Celiné said sounding upset “how do I compete with that? I thought we had something special but it will never be that if there’s three people in this relationship. I mean-my god you sleep in the same bed you shared with him and all this time I thought you slept in the room you shared with me! It’s unhealthy.”

“It is.” Magnus agreed “But it is what it is.” 

Celiné stood up “I’m going to leave now. Magnus you’re not ready for this. For us. It’s not fair to me.”

Magnus lowered his gaze and nodded.

“You won’t even fight for me?” She said sounding upset.

“I want to” Magnus replied “but I think you’re right and I need some time to figure somethings out.” 

He couldn’t bare to look her in the eye. She opened a portal and left immediately and Magnus sank down into the couch clutching his head. 

 

“That was painful to watch.” Alec said gently

“Alexander.” Magnus breathed. 

“I’m here, Magnus. It seems like you’re not done with me quite yet.”

“I’m so lost.” Magnus said and he put his head into his hands. 

“I know.” Alec said quietly “I know”


End file.
